One of the most challenging situations for an HSP is the relationship – the relationship with others in general like, for instance, work relationships, but especially the personal love relationship. When an HSP falls in love, he or she falls hard, and it is not unusual that the intensity is not responded. An other characteristic of the HSP in a relationship, is the fact that the HSP strives for perfection, and perfect relationships just don’t exist. A non-HSP partner of a highly sensitive person is not only unable to be as perfect in a love relationship, but might also feel very boxed in, or crowded by having an HSP partner that is always so much more attached to them than they could even be in return. It is not unusual for an HSP to feel insecure and have a low self-esteem. Broken relationships are no help.

We all do it – we all like to put the blame on the other, HSP’s and non-HSP’s alike. But the added difficulty for a highly sensitive person, is that he usually assumes that his or her partner experiences everything exactly the way he does. In many cases HSP’s partners are non-HSP’s, and misunderstandings and misinterpretations as a direct result from a lack of objectivity may lead to one crisis after the other. A simple example: Somebody is highly sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke. He can not stand the smell to the point that it can make him ill. For this person it is almost impossible to understand that the majority of people are indifferent to the very same smell that affects him so much. They probably don’t even notice. To understand that the problem and the blame, but also the solution, usually lies within the HSP person himself, asks for a step on the road to self knowledge.

Living together can become easier by taking a closer look at someone’s sensitivities. Sometimes it may be enough to learn to switch from subjectivity to objectivity. Sometimes more work is needed. We are all unique, and so are our partners. The beauty of being highly sensitive, is the possibility to turn this trait into an advantage. In reality, any relationship might benefit from the HSP’s empathy and special ‘nose’ for subtleties. Once we have really understood this and are willing to explore, the relationship can start to flow and both partners will have the possibility to grow and to get stronger from within.